Abortion is one of the most sensitive and personal topics to talk about. Yet, it is also a reality that has touched many families —sometimes hidden in silence, other times surrounded by pain, guilt, or even taboo. From a transgenerational perspective, abortion is not just the loss of a pregnancy, whether natural or induced. It also leaves emotional, energetic, and symbolic imprints that can echo through family history.
Why Recognition Matters
Every abortion becomes part of the family memory, regardless of culture, belief, or religion. Recognizing it gives the experience a place, and opens the path to healing —not only for the mother but also for the father and future generations.
The Unconscious Message of Abortion
When a pregnancy ends, it often expresses something beyond biology. For some families, it can represent an unconscious pattern of “not having children.” For others, it may reflect deep fears about motherhood or life changes.
This is why abortion can feel like the loss of both a child and a life project. Many couples attempt to heal the void by quickly conceiving another child. But unknowingly, that new child may carry the unconscious memory of the sibling who never lived. They may grow up feeling they occupy someone else’s place, or that “someone had to leave so I could be here.”
This can create two extremes: individuals full of energy, as if carrying two lives in one, or those who struggle to find their true path.
Silent Grief and Family Memory
Every abortion leaves behind grief —whether acknowledged or not. If kept secret, it often reappears in later generations. Some women feel guilt or fear of judgment, while others experience physical reminders: changes in the body or future fertility challenges.
Fathers, too, experience this grief, though their pain is often overlooked. Both parents, however, are part of the family system and its healing.
Giving a Place to the Unborn
In transgenerational therapy, every family member has the right to belong, even those who were never born. Recognizing the unborn child —through a name, a symbolic space, or simply holding them in the heart— can bring deep healing to the family.
This recognition doesn’t require speaking publicly. It can be an intimate act of compassion that reorganizes the family system and allows love to flow again.
Reflection Questions
If you feel called to explore this topic, here are some gentle questions:
- How was abortion spoken about in your family —silence, guilt, or openness?
- If you’ve lived it, what meaning have you given the experience?
- What emotions arise when you think about the child who wasn’t born?
- Do you feel the need to acknowledge them, give them a name, or create a symbolic ritual?
Transforming Pain into Healing
Abortion does not define a woman, a couple, or a family. But it becomes part of the family’s emotional memory. By acknowledging it with love and compassion, what was once a wound can become a doorway to healing —not just for yourself, but for the generations to come.